Intimacy & Desire: wholesale Awaken popular the Passion in Your Relationship outlet sale

Intimacy & Desire: wholesale Awaken popular the Passion in Your Relationship outlet sale

Intimacy & Desire: wholesale Awaken popular the Passion in Your Relationship outlet sale
Intimacy & Desire: wholesale Awaken popular the Passion in Your Relationship outlet sale_top

"The World Belongs To Those Who Read". This book has No Highlighting and No Underlining. All the pages are clean and tight. The covers, corners and pages may show very minor usage and or storage wear. Any CD''s or Access Codes may not be included. This is a very good book at a great price.
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Intimacy & Desire: Awaken The Passion In Your Relationship
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Many couples begin marital counseling with Dr. David Schnarch with their sex lives in shambles, wondering what''s wrong with them, considering divorce. One partner will complain that the other doesn''t desire him, the other complains that she''s married to a sex maniac. During his 30 years in practice as a marriage and family therapist, Dr. Schnarch has discovered that sexual desire problems are normal and even healthy, in committed relationships.In Intimacy and Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship, Dr. Schnarch explains why couples in long term relationships have sexual desire problems, regardless of how much they love each other or how well they communicate. Through case studies of couples he worked with, Dr. Schnarch shows why normal marital conflict can be the cause of desire problems and creates a roadmap for how couples can transform marital conflict into a stronger relationship and a font of new and powerful desire for each other. He takes it a step further, giving readers simple but effective exercises that will help them reconnect with each other.

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. Readers sick of typical glossy-magazine self-help patter about reigniting romance, or the droning pomposity of most author-experts, will be pleasantly surprised with psychologist and sex therapist Schnarch (Passionate Marriage). He immediately catches readers'' attention by agreeing that the common "just do it" approach to solving sexual problems is not only ineffective, but often results in one partner responding with a decisive "Don''t tell me what to do!" That kind of understanding produces a number of unexpected bombshells-including "Marriage does kill desire"-which produce an uncanny effect: getting couples to stop and reconsider their emotions, quit blaming each other, and start to think (and act) differently regarding sexual situations, behaviors and attitudes. The book''s flaws are more aggravating than genuinely problematic-a tendency to lean on jargon and trademark key phrases ("Four Points of Balance(tm)")-but O''Neill breaks down complex issues with loosely-drawn real life examples, illustrating the dramatic and fundamental changes that occur when couples have a greater understanding of desire, monogamy and the brain. The process is neither easy nor quick, but Schnarch''s confidence is contagious.

Review

"Readers sick of glossy-magazine self-help patter about reigniting romance, or the droning pomposity of most author-experts, will be pleasantly surprised with psychologist and sex therapist Schnarch (Passionate Marriage). He immediately catches readers'' attention by agreeing that the common "just do it" approach to solving sexual problems is not only ineffective, but often results in one partner responding with a decisive ''Don''t tell me what to do!'' That kind of understanding produces a number of unexpected bombshells--including ''Marriage does kill desire''--which produce an uncanny effect: getting couples to stop and reconsider their emotions, quit blaming each other, and start to thing (and act) differently regarding sexual situations, behaviors and attitudes breaks down complex issues with loosely-drawn real life examples, illustrating the dramatic and fundamental changes that occur when couples have a greater understanding of desire, monogamy and the brain. The process is neither ea

About the Author

David Schnarch is a licensed clinical psychologist and author of numerous books and articles on intimacy, sexuality and relationships. His clinical abilities attract clients and students from across the globe. Dr. Schnarch lives and works with his wife, Dr. Ruth Morehouse, in Colorado.



David Schnarch is a licensed clinical psychologist and author of numerous books and articles on intimacy, sexuality and relationships, most famously, Passionate Marriage: Sex, Love, and Intimacy in Emotionally Committed Relationships. His clinical abilities attract clients and students from across the globe. Dr. Schnarch lives and works with his wife, Dr. Ruth Morehouse, in Colorado.

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4.2 out of 54.2 out of 5
138 global ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

Joyce
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Using gridlock to grow
Reviewed in the United States on June 18, 2014
In this book on psychology in relationships the author brings theory down to earth with transcriptions from his sessions with intimate partners. He says that after a few years a couple “uses up” the easy things they share that make them intimate and hidden things which... See more
In this book on psychology in relationships the author brings theory down to earth with transcriptions from his sessions with intimate partners. He says that after a few years a couple “uses up” the easy things they share that make them intimate and hidden things which occasion the experience of “emotional gridlock” come to the surface. He sees this as a creative, though not an easy, moment. He claims that intimacy requires four points of balance. It requires each person to: (1) grow into an adult who does not depend on others for validation, (2) soothe oneself, (3) avoid getting ticked off when the partner has already “lost it,” and (4) confront oneself and suffer the pain of growth. Schnarch’s experience in his own relationship and with clients is that doing this work also begins to rekindle sexual desire in the relationship, because being real is a turn-on.
This is not your usual couple therapy in which you learn to accommodate and compromise. Schnarch is tough (as my friend who read his books said to me, “no quarter given” ) but respectful to his clients, and most hang in with him and appreciate his ability to be onto them and facilitate their open honesty with themselves and their partner – the result being the deep connection most of us seek.
Schnarch suggests simple awareness exercises for couples to encourage building alliance. They are something like meditating as a couple instead of alone. He sees this work as expanding the evolutionary process – a worthy challenge.
19 people found this helpful
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Dog's Boy on the Sunny Southern OR Coast
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A Great Book For Personal & Relationship Growth - but don''t think "Easy"
Reviewed in the United States on February 17, 2011
This is an excellent book whose greatest gift is that it makes the vast ground plowed 13 years earlier in the author''s 2nd book, Passionate Marriage, readily accessbile. The latter was a great book but a dense, difficult read that gave its greatest gifts only after repeated... See more
This is an excellent book whose greatest gift is that it makes the vast ground plowed 13 years earlier in the author''s 2nd book, Passionate Marriage, readily accessbile. The latter was a great book but a dense, difficult read that gave its greatest gifts only after repeated readings. This book, in contrast, makes the author''s approach to self and relationship development easily understood. It brings his theory down to earth and gives guidence in applying it to one''s life. I highly recommend it.

The book is, indeed, fun to read. Schnarch can deftly shift between transcribing the words & thoughts of a counseling session to his principles of human interaction & growth, and on to sometimes salacious stories of couples getting it on -- not only sexually but mentally & emotionally, and in a more open, enlightened way. He breaks into a mercifully short few pages of techno-babble at the beginning of one chapter to show his inclusion or understanding of brain science, but that is the only lapse in the smoothly flowing writing in this book.

Schnarch presents a number of "moving parts" within our relationships that work to grow us personally & as a partner. And his approach is generally at odds with the common approach within our culture of accomodation or withdrawal from conflict. Instead, he suggests that confronting one''s issues -- from one''s family of origin or from one''s current partner (and commonly they are one & the same) -- is the real path to growth. The process involves these key variable:

* All key dimensions of activity, including sex, have a high & a low desire partner.
* Our sense of self can be based on others'' opinion (other validated) or on our own heart (self validated). Both are valid, but if one is predominantly other-validated, then one becomes reluctant to say or do things that will endanger our partner''s good opinion of us. And that creates major problems often to the extent of losing our self in the process.
* The tension between autonomy & connectedness provides the opportunity for personal growth: the authors Crucible Approach (which he''s trademarked).
* Mind mapping is the core process of understanding the thoughts & intentions of another. Only where you allow another to honestly & fully know you can you have that deep connection most of us seek.
* Mind mapping as well as personal integrity is intimately involved in maintaining collaborative alliances with your partner. Being able to maintain such a collaborative alliance most of the time over a prolonged time is what makes for a "good relationship."
* Being psychologically prepared to sustain an alliance, and the integrity necessary for it, requires individual skills that were collectively called "differentiation" in Passionate Marriage and are here more usefully detailed as his Four Points of Balance on page 72.
* Marriage is a people growing system. One of its key mechanisms is to give you 2 Choice Dilemmas, forcing choice between alternatives that are both desirable. It forces growth where we might otherwise be tempted to complacently stay within our comfort zone -- and thus stagnate within relationship.
* Desiring your partner is one such Choice. And positively choosing your partner is a key part of fully participating in relationship.

Reading this book or any book won''t cure a troubled relationship. But it will give you guidence on how to face your own part in your troubles and, very importantly, give meaning to the fact of your relationship struggle. Yes its hard, but yes it is the felling of growth. Find that meaning and the hardship becomes very tolerable.

I highly recommend this book (and Passionate Marriage).
84 people found this helpful
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Bunny Martini
3.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Low quality print
Reviewed in the United States on April 19, 2021
This is a great book required by my professor for Human Sexuality class. However, this copy is a low quality book. The bottom edge makes the book look like an illegal print. I’m not sure if this is the issue of the seller or the publisher.
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AlphaBravo
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Not Your Average Self-Help Book
Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2015
This is an essential book, in my opinion, for at least one half of every couple to read. As Dr. Schnarch says, one person can unilaterally change a relationship. I think anyone planning to read the book, however, needs to understand a few things before diving in. 1.)... See more
This is an essential book, in my opinion, for at least one half of every couple to read. As Dr. Schnarch says, one person can unilaterally change a relationship. I think anyone planning to read the book, however, needs to understand a few things before diving in.
1.) Dr. Schnarch is an academic, not a self-help guru. This book is not designed to show couples what to do in the bedroom to spice things up. No amount of technique is going to make up for poor differentiation and years of resentment. Those who go into this book looking for a magic sexual formula to save their sex lives from the doldrums will be disappointed. The doc acknowledges that the journey toward more desire and more intimacy in a marriage is a difficult one.
2.) While Dr. Schnarch writes for couples, I suspect he also writes for people in the Marriage & Family Therapy field. Because he wants other professionals to understand and even adopt his methods, he includes neurological and other scientific information to provide a basis for his theories. He offers several end notes as well as citations for all of this scientific information. Again, people who expect a quick read and easy step-by-step solution to marital problems will be disappointed. I get the feeling that some people who reviewed this book fall into this category and did not appreciate the length or depth of this book.
3.) You will probably have to read this book more than once. I bought a copy in 2011 and plan to buy another copy for a family member simply because I am unwilling to let that person borrow mine. I have not only read it cover to cover more than once, but I also refer to it often to remind myself of the goals I have for my own personal growth and differentiation in my relationship.
4.) Please don''t dismiss this book if you are in a non-marital but committed relationship. Dr. Schnarch''s theories are relevant to heterosexual, homosexual, married, and non-married partners.

Bottom line: If you can handle the academic nature and complexity of the book, it could be extremely helpful for your relationship and your personal growth. If you want quick-fix marriage advice, look elsewhere. If you want tips on sexual technique, you are also in the wrong place.
16 people found this helpful
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A. Panos
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Important book on relationships
Reviewed in the United States on December 26, 2013
Schnarch dissects troubled sexual & intimacy conflicts, from the merely disappointing to the seriously disaffected. A very important book for all who care about building better communications with significant others. I urge friends & acquaintances to read all of Schnarch''s... See more
Schnarch dissects troubled sexual & intimacy conflicts, from the merely disappointing to the seriously disaffected. A very important book for all who care about building better communications with significant others. I urge friends & acquaintances to read all of Schnarch''s books, but especially this one, the best I''ve read on the subject yet. Don''t put it off- you will gain insights into your relationships even if you already have a great one (or more).
2 people found this helpful
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Megan Ness
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Great book!
Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2014
I have only read through part one of this book so far – but thus far it is blowing my mind! This is a must read for anyone who wants to have a healthy marriage and healthy relationships in general. He paints such a beautiful picture of marriage and he shows that marriage... See more
I have only read through part one of this book so far – but thus far it is blowing my mind! This is a must read for anyone who wants to have a healthy marriage and healthy relationships in general. He paints such a beautiful picture of marriage and he shows that marriage has the potential to develop you into a more mature human being. His writing style is practical and very easy to read, and he discusses sex and sexual issues with candor.
One person found this helpful
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Lois D Armstrong
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
A book that has a concrete plan on intimacy...no sappy crap here.
Reviewed in the United States on October 16, 2014
I got this book at the local library and I love it. All the research tells you if you grew up in a dysfunctional system....did not bond with mom....you are screwed with having true intimacy with others. The author lays out a plan to create intimacy and gives you a... See more
I got this book at the local library and I love it.
All the research tells you if you grew up in a dysfunctional system....did not bond with mom....you are screwed with having true intimacy with others.
The author lays out a plan to create intimacy and gives you a plan to keep it in your life.
Already I have recommended this book to 2 people and planning to give as gifts to couples I know who are getting serious about each other.
5 people found this helpful
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E
4.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
It makes sense
Reviewed in the United States on April 13, 2014
Insightful and accurate. A well written book with real world examples of what tons of people experience on a daily basis. Worth reading for anyone in a long term relationship. I also find it interesting for the psychological/societal elements of changing our human... See more
Insightful and accurate. A well written book with real world examples of what tons of people experience on a daily basis. Worth reading for anyone in a long term relationship. I also find it interesting for the psychological/societal elements of changing our human interactions depending on how we say things and how what we say is received. It''s a good read.
One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Katiej.p
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Most valuable if you want to rescue your relationship.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 19, 2021
Why has it taken me so long to find this? Truely enlightening and hopeful if not an easy read it is inspiring.
Why has it taken me so long to find this? Truely enlightening and hopeful if not an easy read it is inspiring.
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Jan D
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
One of the best books you''ll ever buy
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 3, 2013
If you''re in a long term relationshipt, or even if you''re not in a relationship at all, this book is the best thing you''ll ever read about how to have good relationships with everybody you know. No easy quick fix solutions, but a sound and well formulated philosophy for...See more
If you''re in a long term relationshipt, or even if you''re not in a relationship at all, this book is the best thing you''ll ever read about how to have good relationships with everybody you know. No easy quick fix solutions, but a sound and well formulated philosophy for life if you have the desire to change.
If you''re in a long term relationshipt, or even if you''re not in a relationship at all, this book is the best thing you''ll ever read about how to have good relationships with everybody you know. No easy quick fix solutions, but a sound and well formulated philosophy for life if you have the desire to change.
One person found this helpful
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Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
For years I''ve been looking for a new take on ...
Reviewed in Canada on March 17, 2015
For years I''ve been looking for a new take on understanding relationships. All the typical relationship books just seemed to fall short to me. This is finally the book/theory that I''ve been looking for. It gets down to the real issues of understanding the deeper dynamics....See more
For years I''ve been looking for a new take on understanding relationships. All the typical relationship books just seemed to fall short to me. This is finally the book/theory that I''ve been looking for. It gets down to the real issues of understanding the deeper dynamics. It''s been very helpful for me on different levels.
For years I''ve been looking for a new take on understanding relationships. All the typical relationship books just seemed to fall short to me. This is finally the book/theory that I''ve been looking for. It gets down to the real issues of understanding the deeper dynamics. It''s been very helpful for me on different levels.
One person found this helpful
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Ed
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
Worthwhile for those who can handle going deep
Reviewed in Canada on July 18, 2015
Fascinating deep and enlightening. Schnarch doesn''t shy away from topics that others skirt. Excellent use of case studies. A bit of a complex read for those who might not spent time processing such concepts. Worthwhile for those willing to look in a mirror and tackle the...See more
Fascinating deep and enlightening. Schnarch doesn''t shy away from topics that others skirt. Excellent use of case studies. A bit of a complex read for those who might not spent time processing such concepts. Worthwhile for those willing to look in a mirror and tackle the inevitable issues of long term relationship.
Fascinating deep and enlightening. Schnarch doesn''t shy away from topics that others skirt. Excellent use of case studies. A bit of a complex read for those who might not spent time processing such concepts. Worthwhile for those willing to look in a mirror and tackle the inevitable issues of long term relationship.
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mary Haas
5.0 out of 5 starsVerified Purchase
"Intimacy & Desire" Literatur für jedes Paar
Reviewed in Germany on November 6, 2013
"Intimacy and Desire" gibt jedes Paar was miteinander zum Durcharbeiten. Die Störungspunkte von Beziehungen werden als Herausforderungen der Liebe möglich.
"Intimacy and Desire" gibt jedes Paar was miteinander zum Durcharbeiten.
Die Störungspunkte von Beziehungen werden als Herausforderungen der Liebe möglich.
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Intimacy & Desire: wholesale Awaken popular the Passion in Your Relationship outlet sale

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